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Hoopoefox

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Thought about making a new account to inspire me into drawing again since this one makes me belch, didn't. lol.

Instead I'm just going to do a sweep through, clear everything out and start from scratch because I really miss drawing :c

Skin & Coding by Seii-a
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thought babble

5 min read


Over the past few weeks, I have dealt with some pretty frustrating people and have almost certainly ran into some obstacles. I try to just see these things as part of the game and try to think that all will be well in the end; things must fall apart so better things can fall together, right? I trust my intuition, patience and intense passion. Given all these hard times, I am never too busy to connect to those who trust, love and need me. I'm trying.

I felt at one point that I'm at my best in constant motion to take some action, not doing nothing because by doing that, being left to my own thoughts with only those walls to talk to will drive me insane. By being able to keep treading water, to keep moving up that god-damn hill, it didn't matter to me having to laugh in the face of my limitations, things that are or seem impossible. I took responsibility of it with the understanding that no one can shoulder that burden for me, and no one should ever have to. Because that's damn selfish of me, even if they feel inclined to bear that weight. And I can't decide what's best for them, to keep being selfish, or to minimize the damage while I still can..

I believe our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult we can take is to be honest with ourselves. With that, not being afraid to admit, that there are certain things that I know are wrong - but they just feel so right. I love to love and sometimes, in situations like these, my obsessions take control of me and often end up hurting the people I love. I try to weigh the considerations and then be caught short. But to me, there are no lost causes. I've been there, done that and may have suffered; damaged goods and shit. But it's all good. I'm grounded by the spirit and support meaningful experiences, valuable life lessons that I'll carry with me always. With that, I think I'm able to shift gears with silent recovery.

I hate treating life as if it goes on forever. I'm not willing to remain where my judgments are impaired. But being vulnerable, I must rely on guidance to keep going - but at the moment, I feel pretty blind lol. As the saying goes, happiness comes from the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.

I'm not immature, I'm not naive. I'm learning. I'm getting there. Just give me time.

Skin & Coding by Seii-a
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it filled my page :{
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buhh..

4 min read
Anyone interested in an intermediate-advanced, multi-species role-play hosted on the game FeralHeart? We have a unique plot, with mini-plots sprouting up continuously and there is SO much potential thanks to CloudFish; with the amazing effort and dedication he puts into things /solely/ for us. We have a map, site, forums etc with many members that'll be overjoyed to show you the ropes. If interested, note me!

--

On a seperate note...
There's something I need and want to do… I need some alone time, thinking time. I need to read more, and write more. I've shoved myself into a completely different world from what I've been living in the past year, and I've been ignoring the emotions I've felt. I feel like I need a break. From everything.

Right now, I feel sick. Right now, I want to vomit up the past months and spread it out in front of me and set it aflame. My mind shouldn't run. I should slow down or probably stop. Last night was ecstasy. I can't fathom it. But now, reality just makes me reel and suddenly... Is that regret? I feel like a lost child, something small and vulnerable. I don't know HOW to please everyone. I don't know WHAT you want from me. You give me NO direction until it's too late, and then it boils down to a pile of shit that I'm left to clean up. Well, thanks a bundle!

In my complex world you are always put to a test. Everything you say and do I use against you, and for you. I personally nurse each complexity that caves in. Each word, each sentence, each question. Helps me define who you really are. What makes you snap. What makes you giggle. What makes you cry. What makes you strong and what makes you weak. Some are composed of love. Some are composed of substance. Some are really good deep down to their flesh and bone. Some are so self absorbed. Some are under the evil spell of money. Some are just blinded and waiting for someone to guide them towards the light. I can only do so much, I'm no therapist; my advice is amateurish and I don't trust my judgement. So, I'll leave you with this.

THE GREATEST ADVICE

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't ASSOCIATE WITH PEOPLE YOU CANT TRUST.
DON'T CHEAT. DON'T LIE. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals. Don't stagnate!

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr./Mrs. Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
FIND A NEW FRIEND.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won.
Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

TO TERMINATE YOUR LONELINESS REACH OUT TO THE HOMELESS.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
GET RID OF DESTRUCTIVE ELEMENTS: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

DONT LIVE LIFE RECKLESSLY without thought and feeling for your FAMILY.
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It is true that life does not get better with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
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Stolen from :iconshakko1993: teeheewifey.

( ) Smoked A Cigarette
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(x) Are / Been In Love
(x) Dumped someone
(x) Been In A Fist Fight
(x) HAS A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped Class
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die
( ) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your deviantart Friends
(x) Been On A Plane
(x) Thrown Up From Drinking
( ) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been in a Mosh Pit
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Liked/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
( ) Gone mudding
( ) Killed A Snake
(x) Stolen
(x) Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood
( ) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
(x) Hated The Way You Look
(x) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
( ) Felt Like You Were Dying
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
( ) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
( ) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
( ) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cube
( ) Kicked A Fish
( ) Worn The Opposite Sex\'s Clothes
(x) Sat On A Roof Top
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail
(x) Played Chicken
( ) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
( ) Broken A Bone
( ) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(x) Cried So Hard You Laughed
( ) Mooned/Flashed Someone
( ) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(x) Gone Skinny Dipping
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
(x) Black-Mailed Someone
(x) Been Black Mailed
(x) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(x) Licked A Cat (My cat tastes nice..)
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Flattened someones tires
( ) Rode in a car/truck until the gas light came on
( ) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
( ) stabbed someone
( ) done any drugs
(x) made someone bleed
( ) Had sex in public
( ) Robbed someone
(x) Kissed someone

TOTAL: 36

If you have 00-9 ... write [I\'m a goody-goody]
If you have 10-20 ... write [I\'m below average]
If you have 21-30 ... write [I\'m average]
If you have 31-40 ... write [I\'m a bad person]
If you have 41-50 ... write [I\'m a horrible person]
If you have 51-60 ... write [I should be in jail]
If you have 61-70 ... write [I should be dead]

... Well I knew that already. :D
I'm also looking for a co-owner for a new roleplay I'm creating on FeralHeart. I've created a site, and we have a map kindly created by CloudFish but my buddy Kichou/Xyleusyl decided to go completely inactive. ho'well.
I'm no good at keeping groups going entirely by myself, so, any offers? Note meee!
Also, please, nobody text me. My Mum decided to confiscate my phone because she's mean like that.
Happy early Easter everyone! :)
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